Maryland Maneater on the Prowl for Boners

Rumor has it there’s a maneater running loose in Maryland that goes by the name of Cummie Panties and/or Denver Shoemaker. She’s known to lurk around the boardwalk but has been spotted on the beach eating thrashers french fries and was once seen in Walmart wearing the tiniest thongs ever.

Please reach out to us here if you have any sightings of your own.